SERIES 2: Psycho-Education – “In all your getting, get understanding”
Knowledge is power. Change begins where you can see a problem and better understand it and what you could not previously understand. That which you cannot see (because it lives in the unconscious, you have no hope of affecting or doing anything about. That which you begin to see and can better understand, you now get a chance to change, because you have moved it to the conscious. It does not mean that you can quickly or immediately chance it, but change has begun and can because you can see the problem. It can never be the same again, because it is known; then comes the process of effecting Change – to include “Rewards & Treats” – to entice the brain to join you over time and not continue to work against you as you deconstruct a coping strategy which it gave you in childhood. It does not immediately understand why you are trying to change it; neither does it know what will be the replacement and should it trust it. So Reward & treats are the order of the day throughout the Programme! But don’t tell your partner. They won’t understand!
Session 1: Delaying Gratification
Understanding your inability to delay gratification and give in to temptation. The Trauma impact of a Female Partner and what it looks and felt like in her world; an Empathetic insight that requires an Empathic response. Enhancing her journey of Recovery of the couple. Disclosure of secrets or not. Consideration and weighing up the options and ramifications.
Session 2: Shame + Narcissism = Sex Addiction
Full explanation and a detailed insight into each of those terms at work in your life. Shame (More accurately “Toxic Shame“is about hiddenness and keeping the activities in hiding. Shame gets set up in childhood. We look at how. Shame will stop you joining a 12 steps group. It will block you and set up Resistances, which seem like logic to you. It is different to embarrassment and Guilt.
Session 3: Two Definitions of Narcissism
Looking in detail about two definitions of Narcissism. Narcissism may see you having a focus on the well-being of others, but in truth, it does not want you to see that “all roads lead back to may you look good and pay back to you”; but that is denied! Narcissism wants you to believe “that is not you at all – the therapist is wrong”!
Session 4: Better Understanding You
What a tall order; yet very achievable. Core Emotional Needs become depleted over the years and attempts to top them up will take the form of “Fight/Flight/Freeze”. What do they look like? They are not negotiable and want/have to be met. Core Emotional Needs may account for over 90% of Couples conflicts!They are a big deal. Understand them well and which are you top 3, since you may be fighting, flighting and/or freezing, in an attempt to get them met or topped up when they are depleted.
Session 5: “Core Values”
Values go to the core of who we are and how we would like to see life lived, even if not being achieved. Are you readily trashing your values? We do an exercise which has left some in tears. Brace yourself. It is impactful.
Session 6: Emotional Purpose of Behaviours
What Emotional Purpose do the behaviours play? Do you have the Resiliency criteria to bounce back or might you need to camp here for a while acquiring more of those Resiliency skills/tools for your armoury – before moving on in your journey of Recovery?
Digital Workbook: 2
Each Kairos Changement Series is accompanied with a detailed Workbook helping you to understand all of the content shared. Consequently, it’s easy and convenient to review when you’re not using a screen or even when you are offline completely.